Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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To Join The Forum
Replies: 17
by
BruceS » Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:34 am
» in
Forum Notices
First post
From today I'm disabling any NEW REGISTRATIONS from any one.
Anyone who does wish to become a member & join can contact Admin directly on admin@ozervnews.com .
I will need a few answers to...
Last post
Best for the future, Wayne...
Both mechanically and emotionally!
As for Forum-joiners, I reckon I can work out two of the questions.
But the one about the location of your birthmark might be a...
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- 381 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Mon Jun 03, 2019 2:23 pm
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Dirty jokes request
by
BruceS » Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
We all know that the population is made up of lots of people with varying opinions on what is acceptable and what's not acceptable so perhaps we can use our own judgement as to what might be suitable...
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- 556 Views
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Last post by BruceS
Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
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Hawkie's Humour
Replies: 1
by
Greynomad » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:05 pm
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A joke told to a journalist by the late Robert James Lee Hawke:
RJLH: There are two bodies on the road: a dead kangaroo and a dead politician. What's the difference?
Journo: Dunno, Bob, tell...
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: Nothing has changed in 20 years has it. :roll: :roll:
- 1 Replies
- 38 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:10 pm
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The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
Replies: 8
by
BruceS » Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:27 pm
First post
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public...
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tanks here---
'FarCanal', you lot amaze me
There is a houseboat near Bruce with that name. :lol:
- 8 Replies
- 165 Views
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Last post by Dot
Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:06 pm
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Improvement ?
by
pet-els » Wed Jun 05, 2019 6:17 pm
A ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him.
One official said to him: You have observed the white man for 90 years.
You have...
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- 76 Views
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Last post by pet-els
Wed Jun 05, 2019 6:17 pm
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Walk with me...
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Sat May 25, 2019 8:36 am
First post
Most of us are ambivalent about aging. We wish that we had more energy and less aches and pains but, on the other hand, we’re happy to be alive. This delicately-worded poem captures the true sense of...
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Thanks Chuck. :D Another good one!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll:
- 4 Replies
- 116 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun May 26, 2019 7:37 pm
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Kwik Kwiz
Replies: 3
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Greynomad » Fri May 24, 2019 11:42 pm
First post
Q: What’s the difference between a tourniquet and a wedding ring?
A: Nothing. They both stop your circulation.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Bad luck for some not finding out what it’s all about 🤔
- 3 Replies
- 113 Views
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Last post by Mrcoolabah1au
Sun May 26, 2019 12:36 pm
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- 49 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat May 25, 2019 12:20 am
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How to wash a cat
Replies: 2
by
T1 Terry » Thu May 23, 2019 5:00 pm
First post
From another forum but appears to be off FarceBook
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:P :lol: :P :lol:
Our dogs loved it!!
:lol: :P :lol: :P
- 2 Replies
- 82 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Fri May 24, 2019 3:51 pm
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Paying for sex
Replies: 2
by
T1 Terry » Thu May 23, 2019 5:11 pm
First post
On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked
for $20.00 for their first lovemaking
encounter. In his highly aroused state,
her husband readily agreed.......
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Yup.
Good one, T1!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 2 Replies
- 76 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Fri May 24, 2019 9:46 am
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Zen teachings.
Replies: 3
by
pet-els » Sun May 19, 2019 9:57 am
First post
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just pistol off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like...
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 3 Replies
- 133 Views
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Last post by pet-els
Tue May 21, 2019 3:57 pm
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Oldies tricks
by
Dot » Sun May 19, 2019 5:14 pm
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking....
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- 57 Views
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Last post by Dot
Sun May 19, 2019 5:14 pm
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Some jokes about ourselves.. well some of us.
Replies: 6
by
Chuck » Sat Apr 20, 2019 9:44 am
First post
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
About being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing...
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Will have to explain to DOT that it is not kosher to be seen on ones hands & knees sniffing others nether regions. :cry:
- 6 Replies
- 224 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Wed May 15, 2019 8:58 am
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The Gentleman Golfer...
Replies: 2
by
Chuck » Sun May 12, 2019 11:33 am
First post
Have seen this one previously... but it's still a goodun.
Golfers are a cultured lot !
A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course.
As he goes to get it a man in the...
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If the golfer is still around hunting, we’ll toss a lost ball back over the fence for them.
Otherwise balls in our back yard go into a bucket, which goes to the Op Shop to sell for 50c each!...
- 2 Replies
- 74 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Mon May 13, 2019 5:47 pm
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Butch the rooster
Replies: 3
by
Dot » Sun May 12, 2019 4:01 pm
First post
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred
young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot
and...
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The farmer decides ol' Butch the rooster is approaching his use-by date so he starts the process of introducing a new rooster to the hen house, but it doesn't seem to go to plan.
Back in the hen...
- 3 Replies
- 83 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Mon May 13, 2019 3:06 pm
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Golfer...
Replies: 1
by
Chuck » Sat May 04, 2019 9:16 am
First post
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
I have some good news and some bad news, says...
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Good one Chuck :lol:
- 1 Replies
- 72 Views
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Last post by Dot
Sat May 04, 2019 4:59 pm
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AAA battery.
Replies: 1
by
Chuck » Thu May 02, 2019 8:50 am
First post
An oldie - but still a goodie...
Of course I won't laugh said the Nurse, I'm a professional & in over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.
OK then, said Bruce as he dropped his...
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Bruce.JPG
Sorry Bruce I peeped :lol: Can't spin this pic around please assist
- 1 Replies
- 71 Views
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Last post by Dot
Thu May 02, 2019 1:35 pm
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Heaven V Hell
Replies: 5
by
pet-els » Fri Apr 26, 2019 3:39 pm
First post
An old lady dies and goes to Heaven. She's chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when she hears the most awful blood curdling screams.
'Don't worry about that.' Says St. Peter. 'It's only...
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Well done Peter loved it
Helen
Sent from my SM-J250G using Tapatalk
- 5 Replies
- 108 Views
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Last post by Helen Grose
Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:14 pm
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What Religion Is Your Bra?
Replies: 4
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Dot » Fri Apr 19, 2019 3:12 pm
First post
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires...
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Sort of a prickly pair :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 150 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:08 am
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Sound advise.
Replies: 1
by
pet-els » Thu Apr 18, 2019 9:22 am
First post
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an...
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Good advice Peter
Can't wait to get that stimulus check.
Bob
- 1 Replies
- 91 Views
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Last post by bob r
Thu Apr 18, 2019 2:17 pm
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Oirish divorce...
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Chuck » Sun Apr 07, 2019 10:23 am
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy,in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
What happened Paddy? she asks anxiously.
What happened? I'll...
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- 99 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Sun Apr 07, 2019 10:23 am
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second opinion
Replies: 1
by
pet-els » Sat Apr 06, 2019 4:07 pm
First post
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him, “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it....
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Good advice :D
- 1 Replies
- 86 Views
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Last post by Dot
Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:44 pm
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The way women think...
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Wed Apr 03, 2019 8:57 am
First post
Husband's Message (by mobile phone):
Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
They have been making tests and taking X-rays.
The blow to my head...
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Who the f**** is Paula?
Her name was Paul before she started hormone therapy ....... maybe Paula and I should sit down with you for a bit of talk ......
- 4 Replies
- 177 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:09 am
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Guilty as charged...
Replies: 2
by
Chuck » Wed Apr 03, 2019 9:07 am
First post
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.
WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING...
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Sex education she replied, you must have missed out or you would have remembered me :lol:
:lol: :roll: :lol: :roll:
- 2 Replies
- 113 Views
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Last post by Dot
Wed Apr 03, 2019 1:53 pm
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Tree hugger etc
Replies: 4
by
Dot » Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:58 pm
First post
A woman from Sydney who was a tree hugging, vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a piece of native bushland in northern NSW . There was a large gum tree on one of the highest points in her property....
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Did she appeal the decision on the grounds the recreational area had long been abandoned because no one wanted to go there? ;)
- 4 Replies
- 171 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Wed Apr 03, 2019 11:10 am
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Golf...
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:08 am
First post
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT
2.. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP
4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5. STAY OUT OF THE...
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Ahh, is that why it is called GOLF, Gentleman Only Ladies Forbidden
I thought it was called Golf because the other four letter word was taken :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 119 Views
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Last post by Eddy
Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:42 am
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