Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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Dirty jokes request
by
BruceS » Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
We all know that the population is made up of lots of people with varying opinions on what is acceptable and what's not acceptable so perhaps we can use our own judgement as to what might be suitable...
- 0 Replies
- 447 Views
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Last post by BruceS
Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
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Divorce
by
Greynomad » Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:39 pm
In the news today, an 84 year old farmer has divorced his 18 year old wife because he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
He has since sacked all his hands and bought a combine harvester. :lol:
- 0 Replies
- 36 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:39 pm
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Oirish astrology.
Replies: 5
by
Chuck » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:39 am
First post
During his routine medical check, Paddy asked the doctor...
Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?
I doubt it , said the doctor, Mercury is in Uranus right now.
Paddy said, I...
Last post
LOL... and I thought dey was gunna land on the sun at night...!!!
Vik... :P
An oldie but a goodie, Vik. :P
For those who have not heard it:
The Irish Space Agency plans to send a team to...
- 5 Replies
- 113 Views
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Last post by vik351
Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:35 pm
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British Gentleman with a problem...
Replies: 3
by
Chuck » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:56 am
First post
British businessman in Darwin, rings the 'HELP' line...
G'day Mate. Aussie Help Line here... what's the problem?
I'm in Darwin on business & my umm... lady friend has been stung on...
Last post
In that case Dot, you'll need to ask a redhead. ;)
- 3 Replies
- 101 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Wed Oct 03, 2018 8:20 am
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Breakfast Order.
Replies: 2
by
Chuck » Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:23 am
First post
An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated.
All the waitresses are gorgeous.
A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a low cut top, very short skirt and legs that won’t quit,
came to...
Last post
Umm... :? :oops: :lol:
- 2 Replies
- 91 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Thu Sep 27, 2018 8:55 am
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Go Fish
by
Greynomad » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:12 pm
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
:roll: :lol:
- 0 Replies
- 57 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:12 pm
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Lightglobe changing
Replies: 5
by
Greynomad » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:38 am
First post
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightglobe?
Last post
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightglobe.
A: Only one. But the lightglobe has to really want to change.
- 5 Replies
- 245 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:59 am
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Sleep question
Replies: 7
by
Greynomad » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:54 pm
First post
Why, when we can’t sleep, are we told to count sheep?
Why not count goats, pigs or dogs?
Answer: Sheep are easier to count because they are baa-coded.
:lol: :P
Last post
I was told that was the method used for the Tasmanian Census: count the number of heads and divide by two...
:lol: :?
I shall now run for the hills... :P
- 7 Replies
- 210 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:58 pm
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Marriage fun
by
Greynomad » Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:59 pm
Did you hear about the stripper who married a clown?
They ended up in a comic strip.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 0 Replies
- 54 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:59 pm
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Paddy's girlfriend.
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:57 am
First post
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head... & Paddy said:
I don't think that's her, she wasn't...
Last post
:lol: :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 208 Views
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Last post by Helen Grose
Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:41 am
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Menu choices
by
Greynomad » Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:39 pm
Chap takes his girlfriend to a high class restaurant.
As he peruses the menu, he looks over the top and asks her, “How do you like your rice, boiled, steamed or fried?”
She flutters her eyelashes...
- 0 Replies
- 40 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:39 pm
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One for Chuck
Replies: 3
by
pet-els » Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:07 pm
First post
Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a...
Last post
I'll pay that one... :lol:
- 3 Replies
- 59 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Mon Aug 27, 2018 9:29 am
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Jock's wedding...
Replies: 3
by
Chuck » Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:53 am
First post
Two Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding.
‘Aye, it’s all going like magic,’ says Jock. ‘I've got everything organised already: the flowers,...
Last post
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 3 Replies
- 62 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:53 am
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Scottish Love Story
Replies: 4
by
nut17 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:55 pm
First post
SCOTTISH LOVE STORY
An elderly Scotsman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite pan fried drop scones wafting up the...
Last post
That's a gooden'. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 68 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:22 am
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Missing wife
Replies: 3
by
pet-els » Mon Aug 13, 2018 11:10 am
First post
My wife is missing!!!!!!!!
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sheriff: Height ?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little...
Last post
Her name is Beril and she's at the pub. :o :D :D
- 3 Replies
- 70 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:54 pm
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Lion Tamer.
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:00 am
First post
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his 70’s and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus...
Last post
Chuck, I don't know where you get them from, but keep 'em coming. Loved it! :D :D :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 105 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun Aug 12, 2018 6:43 pm
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Bar jokes
Replies: 12
by
Greynomad » Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:21 pm
First post
A jumper lead walks into a bar.
The barman says, “I’ll serve you, just don’t start anything!”
##################
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
:?
Last post
Shamelessly stolen from another forum.
So was at a bar last night and saw this rather solidly built female wearing a shirt that said, caution, I'm a maneater
I walked up to the girl and timidly...
- 12 Replies
- 257 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:51 pm
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Wine Measures
Replies: 10
by
Greynomad » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:54 am
First post
Wine Measures
2 Sips make 1 Glass
2 Glasses make 1 Litre
2 Litres make 2 Bottles
2 Bottles make 1 Sick
Last post
MONGREL Wayne :) yes there is no point in me even cracking a bottle of anything, no taste at all or if a bit it is certainly different to anything? STEAK you say Wayne?? would you like a steel or...
- 10 Replies
- 118 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:09 pm
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Was it something I said?
Replies: 3
by
T1 Terry » Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:22 pm
First post
One day a woman decided to gather up all of her old clothes that she no longer wore and donate them. She got them all bagged up, walked into the living room where her husband was watching TV and said...
Last post
Hmmm... a bit close to home.
Before we set out on our 3yr Big Lap we had a ‘little clean-out’ donating lots of stuff to local op-shops.
Going through my wardrobe, I looked at my Fletcher Jones...
- 3 Replies
- 75 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:47 pm
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The Snowperson
Replies: 6
by
Greynomad » Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:29 pm
First post
The story of the snowman:
It had been snowing all night. So at
8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman....
Last post
Geez. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.
It was a joke! 😎
Well become a mulloonnyal...
vik...
- 6 Replies
- 90 Views
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Last post by vik351
Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:22 pm
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A Brain Teaser
Replies: 9
by
Greynomad » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:13 pm
First post
Here's one to ponder:
THIS IS AN UNUSUAL PARAGRAPH. I’m curious about just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was...
Last post
It must be a flaw in the way you do sums T1. $85 divided by three equals $28.33 add the one dollar returned + $ 29.33. Times 3 = $87.99 then add the $2 he tipped himself and we are only 1 cent out....
- 9 Replies
- 107 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:38 am
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Wot? Where?
Replies: 1
by
Greynomad » Sun Jul 01, 2018 1:39 am
First post
I went into a camping store the other day to buy some camouflage pants...
But I couldn’t see any.
Ba-boom, tish! 😛
Last post
Ha Ha Ha. :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: have you been out for lunch Ray??? Maybe dinner , now that I have looked at what time you posted this.
- 1 Replies
- 53 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:15 pm
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Fate
Replies: 2
by
Greynomad » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:52 am
First post
I was sitting at a Red light, minding my own business, patiently waiting
for it to turn Green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting...
Last post
Good one Ray, we will probably all go to hell for laughing, but it was pretty funny. :roll: :roll: :lol:
- 2 Replies
- 51 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Wed Jun 27, 2018 7:07 pm
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A.I.
Replies: 2
by
Greynomad » Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:16 pm
First post
Two cows are standing in a paddock.
Daisy: “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
Dolly: “I don’t believe you!”
Daisy: “True. No bull!”
:roll:
Last post
:lol: :lol: 'S'nice. :lol: :lol:
- 2 Replies
- 60 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Sun Jun 24, 2018 9:47 am
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A Wee Scottish Tale:
Replies: 5
by
Chuck » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:52 am
First post
A Golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn in St Andrew’s golf course.
A Groundskeeper shouts “Dinnae drink tha waater! Et’s foo ae coo’s Shite and Pish!
The...
Last post
I reckon you are right Norman. Dougie from Dunedin, a workmate, has a better scotch accent than a Scotsman. :roll:
- 5 Replies
- 103 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:01 pm
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