Thought for Today

[Greynomad]

Stay pure, young people!
Premarital sex can lead to dancing.

[T1 Terry]

A reciprocating saw:
A group of people chatting about what they've seen and someone in the group replies that they have seen a very similar thing

T1 Terry

Belt Sander:
A power tool used to convert a minor touch-up into a major refinishing job.

Pedestal Drill:
A tool used to whack you in the midriff with a piece of 4x4 before flinging it across your workshop with pinpoint accuracy at the job you spent hours on, and placed in the corner where it won’t be damaged while the varnish dries.

Freehand routing: Does the same sort of thing as the R word spelt slightly differently, but to the piece of wood you had prepared to finish off that job that has taken 3 times as long as expected and really didn't need the edge being made fancy ......

T1 Terry

[Dot]

"A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up'.The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'" Dogs are family ❤
~Anonymous Author and Artwork

[supersparky]

Nailed it Dot!

[Greynomad]

Wot Dot said!!
In spades!

[Greynomad]

Did you know:

(1)
You can’t run through a campground.
You can only ran through...
because it’s past tents.

Ba-boom tish!

(2)
Police in America raided a campground and arrested an entire troop of Scouts.
They were charged with Loitering Within Tent.

Ba-boom tish! tish!

[jon_d]

Like apostrofees, I can never work out tents.


tish tish boom

[T1 Terry]

Like apostrofees, I can never work out tents.


tish tish boom

To be or not to be, or has it already been or yet to be? or as Monty Python put in it the Eric the half a bee skit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftomw87g61Y

T1 Terry

[Greynomad]

Or, as the teacher said upon entering the classroom,
“2B or not 2B?”

[Greynomad]

As I watch the upcoming generation trying to rewrite history, I’m certain of one thing:
It will be mis-spelled and have no punctuation.