Only two gifts

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Dot
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Only two gifts

Post by Dot »

·
When God created
Adam and Eve, He said:
I only have two gifts:
One is the art of peeing standing ...
And then Adam stepped forward and shouted:
ME!, ME!, ME!,
I would love it please ... Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier.
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her.
Then God gave Adam the gift and he began to shout for joy.
He ran through the garden of Eden and used it to wet all the trees and
bushes, ran down the beach making drawings with his pee in the sand ...
Well, he would not stop showing off.
God and Eve watched the man crazy with happiness and Eve asked God:
What is the other gift '
God answered:
Eve,..... a brain ... and it is for you ...!....
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.

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jon_d
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by jon_d »

Ah, yes....
Imagining about peeing in the snow and writing your name are worlds apart.

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supersparky
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by supersparky »

jon_d wrote:
Thu Oct 21, 2021 1:47 am
Ah, yes....
Imagining about peeing in the snow and writing your name are worlds apart.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: possibly something a female could never understand Jon.
Cheers
David

David and Terrie with Bandit the travelling companion
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Recently retired and loving it.

Noggins
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by Noggins »

I think Eve's reply was along the lines of "This is such a valuable gift I'll put it away in a secret place and only bring it out on "special occasions"
And since then that special gift has collected cobwebs from being rarely used. :?
This thought of things that are only for special occasions also carried over into life, so that explains the " special" crockery, jewellery etc that all women have. :lol:

Xx
Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power.

Ignorance is Liberating
You're not restricted by facts or knowledge.
You're a Free Person and, as such, able to form your own conclusions.

Eddy
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by Eddy »

about peeing in the snow
I think the advice about never eating yellow snow applies :D :D

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Dot
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by Dot »

Noggins wrote:
Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:25 am
I think Eve's reply was along the lines of "This is such a valuable gift I'll put it away in a secret place and only bring it out on "special occasions"
And since then that special gift has collected cobwebs from being rarely used. :?
This thought of things that are only for special occasions also carried over into life, so that explains the " special" crockery, jewellery etc that all women have. :lol:

Xx
My "special gift"has cobwebs for the same reason . :lol:
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.

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T1 Terry
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by T1 Terry »

Dot wrote:
Wed Oct 20, 2021 11:10 pm
·
When God created
Adam and Eve, He said:
I only have two gifts:
One is the art of peeing standing ...
And then Adam stepped forward and shouted:
ME!, ME!, ME!,
I would love it please ... Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier.
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her.
Then God gave Adam the gift and he began to shout for joy.
He ran through the garden of Eden and used it to wet all the trees and
bushes, ran down the beach making drawings with his pee in the sand ...
Well, he would not stop showing off.
God and Eve watched the man crazy with happiness and Eve asked God:
What is the other gift '
God answered:
Eve,..... a brain ... and it is for you ...!....
.... unfortunately it never came with an instruction manual either. Adam knew how to use his gift and practised with it on a regular basis to find out if there were any limitations.
Eve, on the other hand, just found these new abilities confusing so after trying out a few of them, she decide a life time memory that could be switched on and off as required was the most useful ......
Adam soon found that trying his new skills into a strong wind had less than the desired result, Eve practised her new skill and never let him forget it ......
Through the generations, future Eves have expanded the capacity to remember everything that didn't turn out so well for their Adam, and remind them every time she needed to win an argument, yet managed to completely forget anything he did that turned out for the better.
Adam however, soon realised that trying to defend himself from such memory recall events had much the same result as his attempts at using his skill set against a strong wind ......

T1 Terry
Close only works with lawn bowls and hand grenades
With the benefit of hindsight, we could all be a genius - Supersparky
A person may fail many times in their life, they only become a failure when the try blame someone else. John Burrows

Noggins
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Location: Mandurah - Greenfields

Re: Only two gifts

Post by Noggins »

I have noticed that in an argument women tend to get Historical and sometimes even Hysterical if the man doesn't concede defeat. :roll: :lol:


Ron
Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power.

Ignorance is Liberating
You're not restricted by facts or knowledge.
You're a Free Person and, as such, able to form your own conclusions.

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T1 Terry
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Re: Only two gifts

Post by T1 Terry »

:lol: The version I heard was Eve was gifted multiple orgasms :lol: Unfortunately Adam still only had the single orgasm and Eve spent the rest of her days considering the wisdom of not swapping the gift with Adam when she had the chance ...... standing up to pee was of no real value to her, but at least one orgasm each event was better than none :lol:

Eventually Eve discovered that all Eve's had this gift and Let's-be-friends developed into what it has become today ;)

T1 Terry
Close only works with lawn bowls and hand grenades
With the benefit of hindsight, we could all be a genius - Supersparky
A person may fail many times in their life, they only become a failure when the try blame someone else. John Burrows

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