God went missing...
- Greynomad
- Posts: 8026
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God went missing...
Obviously, this was written by a Tasmanian...
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God was missing for six days.
Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found him, resting on the seventh day.
“Where have you been?” the Archangel asked.
God smiled and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds.
“Look, Gabriel,. Look what I’ve made.”
The Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled.
“What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it ‘Earth’, and it’s going to be a place to test ‘balance’.”
“’Balance’? I’m still confused.” Said Gabriel.
God explained, pointing to different parts of His new planet.
“For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things…”
God continued, pointing to different countries.
“This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold, and covered in ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed at a heart-shaped island and asked, “What’s that one?”
“Oh, that’s Tasmania, the most glorious of my creations on Earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, a beautiful river, and days filled with sunshine. The people of Tasmania are going to be handsome, intelligent but modest, humorous, and they will travel the world. They will be sociable, hard-working, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of many wonderful things.”
Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration, then paused for thought.
He asked, “But what about ‘balance’? You said there would be balance on your Earth.”
God smiled.
“There will be. I will create Canberra. Wait till you see the people I put there!”
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God was missing for six days.
Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found him, resting on the seventh day.
“Where have you been?” the Archangel asked.
God smiled and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds.
“Look, Gabriel,. Look what I’ve made.”
The Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled.
“What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it ‘Earth’, and it’s going to be a place to test ‘balance’.”
“’Balance’? I’m still confused.” Said Gabriel.
God explained, pointing to different parts of His new planet.
“For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things…”
God continued, pointing to different countries.
“This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold, and covered in ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed at a heart-shaped island and asked, “What’s that one?”
“Oh, that’s Tasmania, the most glorious of my creations on Earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, a beautiful river, and days filled with sunshine. The people of Tasmania are going to be handsome, intelligent but modest, humorous, and they will travel the world. They will be sociable, hard-working, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of many wonderful things.”
Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration, then paused for thought.
He asked, “But what about ‘balance’? You said there would be balance on your Earth.”
God smiled.
“There will be. I will create Canberra. Wait till you see the people I put there!”
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
- Dot
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Re: God went missing...
Good one Ray
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- Grandad
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Re: God went missing...
Oh, I'm definitely sharing this one with my Tasmanian family.
Jim
Jim
There Comes a time in life, when you must walk away from all drama and the people who create it
- T1 Terry
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Re: God went missing...
Either write it big or in stereo, with all those heads gathered around to read the letter or that apparition on the devil's device, the computer. Unless they read it for themselves with both heads the story will get so distorted it will end up in folklore
I spent 2 1/2yrs there in the early '80s living half of it in the country region of Kempton and the other half in Glenorchy, an outer Hobart suburb. The further from a major city (there are only 2) the more pronounced the effect A trip up the west coast was not taken lightly and a trip down the smaller roads that branched off the main highway was not advisable if you were riding a motorbike like I was
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
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Re: God went missing...
How very true, two head means twice as intelligent and twice as cool and laid back we are. Having worked and lived in the ACT, you can tell what it represents by the big needle (telecom tower) they display.
- Grandad
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Re: God went missing...
Nah, they'll be alright. The kids were born in Victoria and my sister in Canada. I don't believe any of them have had the surgery to add the second head yet.
Interesting. My sister lives in Sorell. Not an outer suburb but I've been told only a 20 minute drive from Hobart.….. and the other half in Glenorchy, an outer Hobart suburb.
Jim
There Comes a time in life, when you must walk away from all drama and the people who create it
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Re: God went missing...
As any Tasmanian will you, when a Tasmanian moves to the North Island (mainland ) it raises the IQ on both islands
- T1 Terry
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Re: God went missing...
You can leave Hobart after breakfast and still be on the other side of the island for lunch if you don't stop for sight seeing, so 20 mins out is far enough for a true family tree Tasmanian not to have ventured outside the town limits ...... that was how it was when I was there anyway. We had a leading hand farm hand and his family come up to Kempton to live in the farmer's cottage, they had travelled all the way up from Claremont and his wife felt totally displaced because she had never been far outside her town of birth and that far away from her family. They only lasted for 12 mths and she said either they returned "home" or she was leaving and taking the children. It is 36km of mostly highway but in those days passed through a few towns.Grandad wrote: ↑Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:53 pmNah, they'll be alright. The kids were born in Victoria and my sister in Canada. I don't believe any of them have had the surgery to add the second head yet.
Interesting. My sister lives in Sorell. Not an outer suburb but I've been told only a 20 minute drive from Hobart.….. and the other half in Glenorchy, an outer Hobart suburb.
Jim
T1 Terry
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
- Grandad
- Posts: 318
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- Location: Bendigo
Re: God went missing...
I have heard evidence of what you say Terry.
I'm in the early stages of planning a trip to see my sister in Sorrell.
I was looking at the ferry, which is my preferred method of travel as I get to drive my own car through Tassie in the summer rather than a rental. According to Miss Google Devonport to Sorrell is a little over 3 hours. Roughly 260km. Piece of cake. Should be pleasant drive starting from a night trip on the ferry arriving in the morning. I might just take my time and do it over say 5 hours so I can stop and have a closer look at anything that catches my eye.
Oh my goodness. You'd have thought I was considering a nonstop drive from Melbourne to Perth. "Oh, that's far too long a drive to do in one day." That was from a Tasmanian living here.
Really????
My niece lives in Hobart and works in Sorrell so does that trip twice a day. It was she who told me 20 minutes.
Jim
I'm in the early stages of planning a trip to see my sister in Sorrell.
I was looking at the ferry, which is my preferred method of travel as I get to drive my own car through Tassie in the summer rather than a rental. According to Miss Google Devonport to Sorrell is a little over 3 hours. Roughly 260km. Piece of cake. Should be pleasant drive starting from a night trip on the ferry arriving in the morning. I might just take my time and do it over say 5 hours so I can stop and have a closer look at anything that catches my eye.
Oh my goodness. You'd have thought I was considering a nonstop drive from Melbourne to Perth. "Oh, that's far too long a drive to do in one day." That was from a Tasmanian living here.
Really????
My niece lives in Hobart and works in Sorrell so does that trip twice a day. It was she who told me 20 minutes.
Jim
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There Comes a time in life, when you must walk away from all drama and the people who create it
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Re: God went missing...
It's Sorell not Sorrell, drive through it a number of times a week, even in peak hour traffic it's only 20-25mins to Hobart and Sorell is growing fast. Ut's faster to drive from Hobart to Sorell in the mornings then the other way round, can do it in less than 15mins without speeding. Sorell can become very congested during the terrorist (tourist) season as all they all drive at snails pace trying to work out how to drive on Tas roads, the worst are the chinese who seem to think they can stop in the middle of the road, get out and take photo's.
Devonport to Sorell is a bit longer than 3 hours if you don't know the roads, make sure you turn off at the Richmond turn off a few klms from Oatlands, or it will take you over 4-5hrs. you'd better book the ferry soon, as over the summer season it gets booked out months in advance . You could also get the day ferry, which would allow you to get to Sorell before dark with daylight saving down here.
I know people in the north east, who have only ever been to Launceston once or twice and nowhere else. Also know people in Orbost Vic, who have never been any further than Marlo.
Devonport to Sorell is a bit longer than 3 hours if you don't know the roads, make sure you turn off at the Richmond turn off a few klms from Oatlands, or it will take you over 4-5hrs. you'd better book the ferry soon, as over the summer season it gets booked out months in advance . You could also get the day ferry, which would allow you to get to Sorell before dark with daylight saving down here.
I know people in the north east, who have only ever been to Launceston once or twice and nowhere else. Also know people in Orbost Vic, who have never been any further than Marlo.