Recycled Christmas Jokes

Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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Greynomad
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Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Greynomad »

It's that time of year again folks!


Time to dredge up those old jokes that come with the silly hats and useless plastic trinkets in the Christmas Bon-bons.

Here's my contribution:

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who sold his soul to Santa? :roll:


Feel free to add your favourite recycled Christmas Joke here. -------------> []
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
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"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
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Dot
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Dot »

OK you asked for it.
Why doesn't santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney. :roll:
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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SteveW
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by SteveW »

Thank God Christmas only comes around once a year! Oh! It is His fault.
Steve Williams
http://stevew1945blog.com/

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Oliver Goldsmith. 1728 -1774
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Greynomad
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Greynomad »

Q: How do you confuse an Irishman?

A: Show him a bunch of shovels & tell him to take his pick.
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I'm of Irish descent... therefore I'm allowed to tell that one. :P
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Noggins
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Noggins »

Not exactly recycled Christmas
santa's jeep - Copy.jpg
seasonal-celebrations-christmas-santa_claus-drunk_driver-driving_drunk-drunk-dcln80_low.jpg
santa_and_rudolph_1093125.jpg
santa_park.jpg
secret_santa_1539045.jpg
This is more like me at that time of the year
santa.png
This is why some cats are a neurotic mess
timthumb.php.jpg
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You're a Free Person and, as such, able to form your own conclusions.
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T1 Terry
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by T1 Terry »

How did Mary & Joseph know the babies birth weight?

They had a weigh in the manger ........
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
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Greynomad
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Greynomad »

Small boy in Kindergarten Sunday School joined in enthusiastically when teacher asked them to draw the scene from "Silent Night": the manger & baby Jesus with Mary, Joseph & the wise men.
When he showed it to the teacher, in the background was what appeared to be a snowman.
Not wishing to upset the boy, she gently asked, "And who is that in the back?"
"Oh," replied boy, "that's Round John Virgin!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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T1 Terry
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by T1 Terry »

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine. – Jim Barksdale, former Netscape CEO
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Greynomad
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Greynomad »

Q: What do you call a horse in its pyjamas?

A: A Zebra

:roll:

Q: What’s half of infinity?

A: Nitty

:?

Q: Why do cows lay down together when it rains?

A: To keep each udder dry.

:lol:

Q: What do ghosts eat?

A: Ghoul-lash

(Don’t blame me. They were in our Christmas Bonbons!
Last edited by Greynomad on Fri Dec 27, 2019 9:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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Greynomad
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Re: Recycled Christmas Jokes

Post by Greynomad »

Some of the refreshments at the Community Lunch:
72545C4E-B53F-401B-9764-75D802E3CD21.jpeg
Note the words after Great Northern Brewing.
It might be the “Beer for up here”, but brewed by Carlton United Brewery in Melbourne. :roll:

(Damn! I thought I was being clever laying the can on its side. Bl**dy phone turned the pic the wrong way. :? )

Take two:
E0E8F264-4760-4893-BBD3-DA3F8EC34076.jpeg
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Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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