A Warning Ignored...

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Greynomad
Posts: 7983
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
Location: Rutherglen, Vic.

A Warning Ignored...

Post by Greynomad »

If this one doesn't bring you to tears of laughter, let me know. I'll pray that you get a sense of humour!

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An elderly couple had been happily married for many years. The only bone of contention was the husband's habit of ripping off an enormous, loud and smelly fart every morning when he woke up.
His wife complained that it made her gag and she couldn't breathe. She pleaded with him to stop it.
He argued that it was natural and he couldn't do anything about it.
She warned him that the problem was so bad she was afraid that one day he'd blow his guts out.
The farts continued.
One morning, as he slept on, she was preparing the turkey for Christmas Dinner.
She looked at the bowl of leftovers, the neck, gizzards & liver, and an evil thought overcame her.
She crept upstairs, carefully pulled back the bedcovers and pulling open his elastic-waisted pyjama pants, emptied the contents of the bowl.
She went back to the kitchen, smiling, and resumed cooking.
A short time later she heard her husband's signature trumpeting, followed by a blood-curdling scream, and rapid footsteps to the en suite bathroom.
The wife was rolling about the floor laughing so hard she cried. She quickly composed herself when she heard his footsteps on the stairs.
He rushed in with a very flushed face and said, "Honey, you warned me, but I didn't listen. I'm sorry for ignoring you."
With a carefully-composed look of innocence on her face the wife replied, "What are you talking about, dear?"
"You said one day I'd fart my guts out," he said, "and it finally happened!'"
Then, beaming triumphantly, he added, "But by the grace of God, with some Vaseline and two fingers, I managed to get it all back in."

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:? :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8-)
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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jon_d
Posts: 3579
Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:37 pm
Location: bedford

Re: A Warning Ignored...

Post by jon_d »

She's going to regret that on Boxing Day.
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