Sheep Farmer
A Scotsman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around, and instead will lie down, and wallow in the grass, when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, then goes to bed.
Next morning,he wakes up and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.
"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods.
He spends all day shagging the sheep, and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.
He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No,"she says, "They're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn!!!!"
PeterH
Scotsman or NZ
Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
Jump to
- Suggestions, Problems & Rules
- ↳ Rules
- ↳ Forum Notices
- ↳ Suggestions
- ↳ Report Problems
- ↳ FORUM ICONS (meanings)
- Meet & Greet
- ↳ Introduce Yourself
- ↳ About your outfit
- ↳ Event & Get Togethers
- Campfire Chatting area
- ↳ Drop in & Chat
- ↳ Tank's Interesting Topics
- ↳ Around the Home
- ↳ Dot,s Banal Chat...
- ↳ Pets, & more pets
- ↳ News Articles of Interest
- ↳ Hobbies & Interests
- ↳ Drones & Helicopters
- Hammer & Chisel (Members)
- ↳ Gadgets and thing-m-bobs
- Fun & Games
- ↳ Joker's Palace
- ↳ What's Your Question Please?
- Buy, Sell & Swap
- ↳ FOR SALE!!
- ↳ WANTED!!
- ↳ Vehicles for SALE
- Photos & Snaps
- ↳ Monthly Photo Competition
- ↳ Various Pics of Social Occasions
- ↳ Photo Resizer..
- Birthdays...
- ↳ Birthdays