Will he jump?

[BruceS]

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.

[Dot]

like that one

[pet-els]

Welcome to the evolving USA……and Australia?

IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man/woman/person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 - Accused of using a black face on the snowman...snowpersons.

8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

PeterH

[T1 Terry]

Welcome to the evolving USA……and Australia?

IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man/woman/person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 - Accused of using a black face on the snowman...snowpersons.

8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

PeterH

Political ignorance is at fault here, it should be taught at kindergarten level through to proffessor level. Even with basic training he would have known the correct procedure was to establish a committee with all the neighbourhood involved with the aim of establishing a steering committee to determine who should be on the design committee and construction committee along with a separate PR committee and a safety committee as well as a legal team to cover the exposed members of each and every committee from any action that could cause them any issues .... basic plan, form a steering committee to establish sufficient committees to move the blame around to the point the complaint finally fades into the ether.

With this basic structure in place, there should be no further snow persons problems because the snow will have melted long before the submissions had bounced between each and every committee to add in their rewrite. After a number of seasons the rewrites will finally come to an agreement that instead of snow persons that would need to be reconstructed each yr, a bronze statue depicting all the members of the committees be erected on the site where the proposed snow person would have been constructed.
At this stage the person who originally started the committees get to put his ideas forward as it is his property the statue will be built.
A glorious ceremony is organised for the unveiling of the secretly constructed statue after the first snow falls and the unveiling reveals the snowman he originally wanted to build, but a plaque on the base says it is the depiction of everyone involved in the whole process, and immediately starts a steering committee to form a complaints committee to hear all grievances of the committee heads as they are the only accepted mouth piece for each committee ....
By now you should be able to see the trend and how this will play out ..... each committee will form a steering committee to determine who has the voice of all the committee members .... there will be no agreement, the members will gradually storm off in protest and form sub-committees to determine just how they will gain the upper hand and ........ Each season the family will build a new snowman on the original base and polish the plaque, any complaints will be handed off to the committee designed to disperse such trouble makers so thinly that they can not form a committee of their own .....

T1 Terry

[supersparky]

T1, admit it, you have worked in Local Govt before haven't you.

[T1 Terry]

T1, admit it, you have worked in Local Govt before haven't you.

Nah, but have had experience with trying to deal with a committee
The old line, how did the camel and Zebra come about, these were horses designed by two different committees and a perfect example of what happens if you don't establish a steering committee first. The result if the correct committee structure was used would have been a combination of all these attributes including the colour scheme ..... but available in other colours ....... after application to the relevant committee of course......

T1 Terry

[Keith Morris]

"tanks" here---T-1,
talking of committiees; check this out:-

THE COMMITTEE

Oh! Give me pity, I'm on a Committee
Which means that from morning to night
We attend & amend & contend & defend
Without a conclusion in sight.

We confer & concur, we defer & demur
And reiterate all of our thoughts
We revise the Agenda with frequent addenda
And consider loads of reports.

We compose and propose, we suppose & oppose
And the points of procedure are fun
But through various notions are brought up as Motions
There's terribly little gets done.

We resolve and absolve, but we never dissolve
Since it's out of the question for us
What a shattering pity to end our Committee
Where else could we make such a fuss.

Keith - Does it remind you of anything.

[Noggins]

T1
While your post on committees is good you forgot the Environmental Studies and the impact of structured snow in that particular region< which means if the people around the corner wanted a snowman they'd have to authorise a new study for their location.
Then of course there's the Feasibility Study.
The "first nation" study and approval ( as the snowman will be white this might be a problem )
Then the committee for funding this public display, or even deciding if it is going to be public, as well as the subcommittee for fundraising ( with several subgroups, even as far down as to who makes the afternoon tea at committee meetings ( after approval from the finance committee to complete the full circle of committees )

Maaate there's a lot more than these, any problems just ask me as I have served time on several committees and found the asylum is run by the inmates on more than one occasion.

Ron

P.s sorry if I missed a few out

[T1 Terry]

T1
While your post on committees is good you forgot the Environmental Studies and the impact of structured snow in that particular region< which means if the people around the corner wanted a snowman they'd have to authorise a new study for their location.
Then of course there's the Feasibility Study.
The "first nation" study and approval ( as the snowman will be white this might be a problem )
Then the committee for funding this public display, or even deciding if it is going to be public, as well as the subcommittee for fundraising ( with several subgroups, even as far down as to who makes the afternoon tea at committee meetings ( after approval from the finance committee to complete the full circle of committees )

Maaate there's a lot more than these, any problems just ask me as I have served time on several committees and found the asylum is run by the inmates on more than one occasion.

Ron

P.s sorry if I missed a few out

You missed the main point, form the steering committee first, then all of this stuff is taken care of without any further input required ... if there is a complaint then the complaints committee will handle it in the usual fashion that committees handle anything, ask for a detailed report to be submitted by the committee that was formed to submit the complaint, because as we all know, a committee will not hear submission for anything else but another committee ......

T1 Terry