Is this you at shower time?

[T1 Terry]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks, undies etc etc.... Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone......
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with mould remover for shower area, make mental note to buy latest new and improved version as seen on tv.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and how you can make that muscley chest look, scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk and wonder where all the hair has gone. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again and make ape pose and ape noises. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Recognise anyone you know?

[supersparky]

Margaret is going to kill you when she sees what you have written. But it is reasonably accurate for most blokes that I know.

[Dot]

I could add a thing or two about the mens showering antics,, BUT I won't YET

[supersparky]

Not much point Dot, I reckon T1 just about nailed it.

[Dot]

Nup sorry David but there is a lot more to tell, don't you go playing dumb with me young man

[homeless]

So who or WHOME have you been watching.

Do you have one of those airport radar thingies setup in the back yard to look through the walls of RV's or is just from the secret camera in your bathroom. (I did say secret so nobody read that part Ok it is between Dot and I). or is it secret nursie business EHHHHH

Might need to check before I camp near you but then I don't shower tooo often as it wastes valuable water

Regards
Brian

[Greynomad]

SHOWER... shower...
Yep. We have one of those in Girt. A great place to hang undies to dry. Ask SWMBO.
Didn't know you could use it to wash yourself.
I prefer a Bushman's Bath (or Shearer's Shower. Call it either.)