Boozey stories (dob your mates In)

[T1 Terry]

ha ha, There is a story concerning some one here with the name starting with the letter T who was groping another person here with their name starting with the letter D, booze and a tv

Ahhh.... but that wasn't Christmas drinks .... bugga, title is boozey stories eh
Groping, really .... You must have been putting up one hell of a fight for us to end up on TV .... I seem to remember having enough trouble standing on my own two feet and holding myself up, not much hope when you tried reverse psychology .... to get away from the "groping" ...... there wasn't much hope of me holding both of us up ..... so we ended up on TV so to speak

[wayno]

******1990 AFL Grand Final Day******

As usual we, me and the now departed strife arrived at the Regent Hotel's Grand Ballroom for the obligatory Grand Final Seminar.
The word seminar avoided FBT and very smart, as the eats, drinks and entertainment was as usual first class.
It was classy, suit and tie, long dresses and a lot of semi revealed tit on show for those interested.

It was a fantastic day until the game started. Essendon v Collingwood. I am an avid Essendon supporter and in a moment of insanity
I married a Collingwood person. Well she did have all of her teeth, not fat and a nice butt. Unusual!

Any way as the game unfolded, the worst it got and the more I drank. After the game I had to endure another six hours of Collingwood revelry, so imagine how well I was travelling by then

Now time to leave (midnight) and drop into a birthday party on the way home. I navigated the elevator OK, but the revolving door was an issue.
It pushed me out so fast enough to make me crab walk down the sloping red carpet, resulting in flattening 8 West Coast Eagles people.
We waited for a cab for awhile, then the boss said, better getting a cab in Collin's Street. I was told to hang on to a parking sign pole and she'd be back with a cab. All good, except when she got back I was nowhere to be seen. Deeper investigation found me lying on the footpath, but still with my hands around same pole. Very good self control

Anyway, we get to the party, the strife slams the taxi door shut with her thumb in the seal profile. Ouch!

After getting home a couple of hours later and sobering up a tad, I decided she needed to go to hospital ER. The Alfred was just down the road, so off we went, me driving and she advising how to miss parked cars. We got there, she was taken in to ER. Great! I decided to go out front for a smoke, lit up, then tripped over and rolled down the front lawn. At this stage I am in my suit, but covered in grass as well. Embarrassing
Decided to take a seat in the ER waiting room to lessen them thinking I could be a bit P155ed.

When the strife was released from ER,she asked, "where's my husband?". Oh, he was snoring so loudly, we put him on a trolley and stuck him a storeroom out back.

We eventually got home at 9:30 am.

Big day

[wayno]

There seems to be quite a few outriders on this topic

We have 400 plus views and only 4 or 5 willing to tell their stories.

The more stories posted here, the better!

We can all learn from them.

[Greynomad]

In my callow youth the country radio station I worked at (no names, no pack drill!) hosted a rock band competition — anyone remember Hoadley’s Battle of the Sounds? — and I was co-hosting with another (older) announcer.
Office gossip said he drank like a fish.
The winning band held a victory party and we were invited.
There was quite a crowd at the house and they rapidly ran out of glasses, so borrowed some from the pub a few doors down… middy glasses.
My colleague and I were constantly having our glasses refreshed, then they ran out of beer.
No problem, they had a dozen casks of wine as backup.
I think you can work out what ensued: middy glasses, wine, regular top-ups…
I don’t remember getting home, and next day the manager called me into his office after my morning shift and replayed a tape of me trying to sound semi-alive & conscious.
The memory of that dressing down remained with me for the rest of my career. 🫢
Never again did I overindulge if I had a shift next day.

[Noggins]

Many years ago I went to one of those rotating parties that were quite popular at the time.
There was a group of us and we'd arrange one every 3 months, for that 1/4 of the year we'd done the usual and at the last host's place he brought out his fav Rum, now in those days I did like a tipple of rum, thus the nic of Noggins. Anyway, this was better than top-shelf and we had a glass or 2, maybe even 3 with his Mrs cautioning us about me driving home.
At about 12 I decided it was time to depart, and after thanking the hosts for a great evening, I climbed into my trusty rice burner Datsun 1000.
I knew I was over the limit and thought "here goes, hope there are no plods on the way home"
Of course, as soon as I was on Malvern Rd there they were !
So being extra careful, doing everything 100+% correctly, I eventually made it home with them still tailing me.
I got out of the car and shut the driveway gate, then one of them gets out of the Patrol Car and walks up to me.
I'm thinking This is IT, I'm done for!
Now, this is in the days of the Vic Police doing the rewards program as well as the take license thing.
So I'm thinking, Sighhh, No license for how long?
Anyway, the nice Policeman says to me "Driver, that was an excellent display of driving and we'd like to give you a reward for it"

Big mouth stupid replied
"Yehh you gotta be careful when you've had a few "
Nice Policeman just got back in his car and drove off .

Those Rotating Parties could get serious
I lost my car for 3 days after one, I couldn't remember where I'd parked it, I'd taken a Taxi home due to someone applying alcohol to my drinks


Ron

[Vik351]

Ok, since I’ve retired and left the company…… true story.

In the nineties, I was traveling the overseas regularly for work. Generally, I’d fly into the US on a Sunday and home on Friday. Week in Melbourne and then out to somewhere in Asia. Japan, Korea, Sing, Malaysia, Beijing and the like.

I’d be meeting with other region reps and lab staff in the US where we’d make plans and then meet with the countries to deploy and do business reviews.Part of this included attending monthly Asia wide country business reviews with my bosses boss (Simon) out of Taiwan.

So, this particular meeting in Taiwan went well and on Friday, Simon hosted my boss and I for a game of golf. All good and on Saturday, we flew into Korea for a review on Monday. Well, on Sunday, Do Hee and Jung Dai then hosted Phil (my boss) and I for golf and dinner.

Dinner includes special desert. Dinner went well.

So Ian Gillan wrote about you

https://www.google.com/search?q=ian+gil ... hz8RuxdAr4

vik...


Special desert is a private karaoke bar (out the back) with a bloke strumming a guitar, a couple of 'hosts' and a bottle of Korean Scotch and us four.

Phil declared he didn’t drink. So the others decided to toast me. I didn’t twig…. Must have been the scotch at dinner too…. But it was one shot for Do Hee and me, then, one shot for Jung Dai and me. A bit like the Kodak deal. 2 prints for one.

All good for a while. After all, I was single and spent most nights down the local so I had a pretty good tolerance. Saturday nights ended up drinking Sambucas.

But, it did catch up. In a big way. It was time to vomit. You know when. That feeling that this is going to be bad. Well I was having that feeling.

Our private room had its own private dunny. Off I go. All casual like. Not to lose any face.

Well, there I am. Wondering what to do and with Belly full of Korean Scotch and KimChi. (chilli fermented cabbage). Almost like on queue, the guitar starts up with a drum backing.

Boom Boom Boom. A beat to throw up too. Just like in the movie; The Shawshank Redemption, where he’s timing the rock with the thunder. Here I am, counting in the beat and hurling. Emptied out and now one knew. Face saved.

So, back I trot. And out comes the Scotch. I didn’t last long, and back into the dunny. Boom boom and baarrrph. Ooops, missed the beat. Actually, I probably missed the next few beats.

Well, Do Hee in a caring voice, sort of asks if I’m ok and I stagger out. They pack me up and send me home. Apparently, I’d earnt my stripes. One of my most enjoyable trips. Not sure what happened to the hosts, but being Korea, one can only imagine.

[T1 Terry]

I'd lost my licence for speed dangerous, on my motorbike, that was converted to Manner Dangerous at the doors of the court room, the difference being speed dangerous was a traffic offence, Manner Dangerous was a criminal offence.
Anyway, a group of us had been on a 3 day Upper Hunter Wine festival "tasting" - camping trip and I'd made the most of the last day before we left. A friend drove our Toyota Tarago diesel (absolute power house, not) back to their place in the Blue Mtns and the wife was too scared to drive home with all the traffic in the dark ..... so still half shoot Terry volunteered to drive. Sure enough, Booze Bus at Springwood and I get pulled over for a "random licence check" Youngest daughter is in the bassinet between the seats (still legal back then) so I made a fuss looking for my wallet, nudged the bassinet a few times to wake the daughter up so the wife is trying to calm her and I tell the wife to check the glove box and not worry about the baby ...... the young female officer gets all flustered and say not to worry about it, they aren't trying to upset families but rather get unlicensed and drink drivers off the road, then sends us on our way .... I think I was sober within 100 yds down the road

T1 Terry

[Vik351]

Used to have 1/4 mile illegal drags here in Adelaide at this oneway road ( pretty fkn stupid cos the cops block off the entrance and defect everybody they could ) at Torrens island , all good me and a mate in me beetle 1/2 a doz Southwark and a bit of hooch

Drags going well, pi55 doing down well , then the cops come ,prolly 2,3am by now we get in the beetle, donk on ,was bloody cold there, folk gettin defected left right and centre , next minute I wake up, donk still running, toasty warm ( good heaters dem bugs) it's dawn fuel gauge on the res mark , wake up my mate ,not a car around , cops didnt touch me that I know of (in a beetle at the drags ) so cranked the reserve tingo and just drove to the nearest servo after a pi555 and chucked the empties out ...and a nice cold bottle of coke for breckie ...

Amazin how good that siht tasted after a night in da morgen ...

now tea total for about five years now ...

Best thing I ever did , hate to think what shape I would be in in retirement and still drinkin

Now I might be able to afford to get a tank diesel instead ...

vik...

[Vik351]

I'd lost my licence for speed dangerous, on my motorbike, that was converted to Manner Dangerous at the doors of the court room, the difference being speed dangerous was a traffic offence, Manner Dangerous was a criminal offence.
Anyway, a group of us had been on a 3 day Upper Hunter Wine festival "tasting" - camping trip and I'd made the most of the last day before we left. A friend drove our Toyota Tarago diesel (absolute power house, not) back to their place in the Blue Mtns and the wife was too scared to drive home with all the traffic in the dark ..... so still half shoot Terry volunteered to drive. Sure enough, Booze Bus at Springwood and I get pulled over for a "random licence check" Youngest daughter is in the bassinet between the seats (still legal back then) so I made a fuss looking for my wallet, nudged the bassinet a few times to wake the daughter up so the wife is trying to calm her and I tell the wife to check the glove box and not worry about the baby ...... the young female officer gets all flustered and say not to worry about it, they aren't trying to upset families but rather get unlicensed and drink drivers off the road, then sends us on our way .... I think I was sober within 100 yds down the road

T1 Terry

Lost my licence and was not even driving ...

Parked my HK wagon in Rundle st (No Mall yet ) and the back wheel was up on the kerb, best I could ,pi55ed as a mute, went up to Bradys pool hall , stumbled around there for a while , mates were playin, thought I would go for a snooze in the car, all good till I put the keys in the ignition for the radio ... then the foot cops pinged me for driving there ...

Off the the watch house breath test etc
They drove my car to the watch house, why they never defected it i'll never know , had twin strombergs extractors ,copper pipes split system from the extractors out before the back wheels

Must felt sorry for me , in enough strife, so that took up all my points, no licence for 18 months ... Thats when I learned a life lesson in who your so called "MATES" are ... !!!

No car, no money no mates no funny ...

vik...

[Dot]

Dobbing my self in this time.
Night shift Xmas party started at 0715hrs and as usual the coppers that were always looking after us night shift girls were also invited, As pr usual no eating on duty was common due to being busy. After a few drinks and a few cakes the party ended around 0900hrs as bed was calling. I took off home and decided to have a shower before bed, stripped off and under the shower (which was over the bath) I had sat in the bath but when I turned off the water and tried to get out of the bath I crawled to the top of the bath but slid straight back down. It was getting cold and then I heard a couple of familiar voices calling out "Are you ok?" Well it was the ever-dutiful coppers came to make sure I had got home ok. By this time I was so cold and tired and a bit over the limit I yelled (whimpered) help. No embarrassment here at this time my two burly boys in blue chucked a towel over me, picked me up and put me into bed then laughed all the way out. I did make it to work that night.