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Grandad wrote: ↑Thu Sep 27, 2018 7:52 pm I've just read the first and last page of this thread so forgive me if I've missed a heap.

Dot, I've just joined so I don't know you, but it sounds like you're going through hell to me. You poor thing.
I've read several of your posts here and you always seem so cheerful. Well done keeping your mental attitude on the right track.
I sincerely hope there is some improvement in the coming weeks.

Jim

Jim,
Thanks for your supportive post. I started this topic because there are so many people that really need to know and see what does happen in the ordinary world of cancer and the effects this mongrel has on them and their family and friends. I have been really quite good for the past 12 mths in an emotional way but a couple of mths ago I hit rock bottom and that I believe has been mainly the nasty medications side effects even this part of my journey I wanted people to know about just in case they or someone they know ever got to this stage of despair thinking you are going nuts It is hard to stay 100% positive all the time but I do my best. You have to or else you may as well curl up and wait for the end to grab you at your lowest ebb. This disease will not get me as I have too many things I want to do. (but not the $$ to do them all) I will know more how I have gone with all of this when I have my next PET scan in November so fingers crossed. On Sunday I get to do one of the things I love most in this world and that is I am going to swing my leg over a horses back and I can't wait Probably will make a fool of myself cuz I reckon I shall be a blubbering mess of happiness. Might even get a pic for proof for the non believers.

Dottie,
You been practicing with the G Man?

Dot, Somewhere in the archives is a pic of you riding work for one of Aust's great training teams. Why don't you just repost that. It will save may a few hours of poking about trying to locate it. I hope that all worked out on the day and you had an enjoyable day hacking about. So, how did it go???

The pic of Scully is just great I can't even send it via email to Bruce, stupid machines these things are.
Last Friday my GP and I decided to start to reduce the 2 nasty drugs I have been taking, so we cut the Dexamethasone down to 1 and the fentanyl patch down to 25. By Monday I was starting to feel "not quite right" (no comments from the peanut gallery please) by Tuesday I was a bit lethargic and a tad wobbly but today I am completely a sloth, Not a nice feeling at all but if this is what withdrawal symptoms are then junkies can keep it all to themselves. I got out of bed at noon, walked around the yard then by 3pm I had to hit the sack again till 8pm. Now I have been asleep on the lounge chair and it is time for bed again. Oh I hope this terrible stage passes quickly. If the disease doesn't get you the dam treatments do try.

Hang in Dot the coming down is not good but once done it is done. And please watch the ceiling fan when you are throwing the leg over, cheers Robert

Is THAT really a horse??

No Dot, that's not a horse. That is a beautiful Clydesdale, did you go for a trot?

That's what's known as a 'BIG bugger'

Do they ever make saddles big enough for Clydesdales?
Might big gee gee Dot you look good atop

Yes he has a saddle Shirley but I hate them, need to feel the horse but my legs were so "out there" I think I went numb from the waist down. David just a short trot was had and also bought great laughter to the on lookers I did ask the peanut gallery if my bum was as big as Scully's but they kept very quiet. I just love the smell of horses of any size. Thanks Bruce for getting these pics up for me.