Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
Letter to Santa
by Greynomad » Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:11 pm
Dear Santa,
This year I'd like you to give me a big fat bank balance and a nice slim body.
... and please don't get them mixed up like you did last...
0 Replies
420 Views
Last post by Greynomad Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:11 pm
Lucky or what?
by Dot » Tue Oct 29, 2019 9:02 pm
First post
A man goes to the doctors feeling a little ill.
The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really...
Last post
:lol: :lol: :lol:
1 Replies
297 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Oct 29, 2019 11:31 pm
1961 dating...
by Chuck » Thu Oct 17, 2019 10:07 am
First post
Y ou need to be able to remember the era to really enjoy this...
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with...
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Yeah I used to do that dance ;) ;)
1 Replies
313 Views
Last post by Dot Thu Oct 17, 2019 2:49 pm
Seven days.
by Chuck » Mon Oct 14, 2019 9:19 am
First post
MONDAY.
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely...
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Wot T1 said...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
3 Replies
382 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Oct 15, 2019 5:54 pm
God went missing...
by Greynomad » Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:54 pm
First post
Obviously, this was written by a Tasmanian...
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God was missing for six days.
Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found...
Last post
Spot on. Thanks mate.
12 Replies
844 Views
Last post by Grandad Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:25 am
Another Blonde Joke
by Greynomad » Tue Sep 24, 2019 11:25 pm
Dr: I’m just waiting for your x-rays.
Blonde: But I’ve never dated anyone called Ray.
Dr: I think we’ll do a brain scan, as well.
:?
0 Replies
300 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Sep 24, 2019 11:25 pm
Aussie magician.
by Chuck » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:53 am
First post
An Aussie and a Kiwi walk into a bakery.
The Kiwi steals three pastries from the counter and puts them in his pockets.
He turns to the Aussie and...
Last post
That,s ok Chuck skin,s nearly has thick as an Aussie,s.
Norman, we know that you are a pom anyway. So it doesn't count! :lol: :lol: :roll:...
3 Replies
380 Views
Last post by norman Sun Sep 22, 2019 12:10 pm
Mummy, how was I born... ?
by Chuck » Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:53 am
First post
A 7 year old girl asks her mother; “Mummy, how was I born?
Mum smiled and replied:
“Well, once upon a time, Daddy and I decided to plant a...
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I've drunk red but doubt if any of them could be classified as 'good'...so will take your word & first hand knowledge on that one.
5 Replies
414 Views
Last post by Chuck Mon Sep 16, 2019 8:46 am
The Crumpled Bills
by Chuck » Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:22 am
First post
With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband:
“Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him...
Last post
Excellent thank you.
3 Replies
303 Views
Last post by RobertNotBob Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:54 pm
Heaven or Hell ?
by pet-els » Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:44 pm
Once upon a time there were two brothers.
One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble.
The other brother, however, was very good....
0 Replies
224 Views
Last post by pet-els Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:44 pm
A bit 'iffy' - maybe.
by Chuck » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:38 am
First post
Compliments to 'Maxine' - the cartoon version - for this one.
I hesitated putting this one up - but it is kinda funny - & factual.
I bought a...
Last post
It's a bit like the pollie that said those pacific islanders that were going to loose their livelihood due to the rising sea level, they won't be...
4 Replies
377 Views
Last post by T1 Terry Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:57 pm
Just a few laughs
by Dot » Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:57 pm
First post
❗️My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She...
Last post
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote …....
:? It's the last bit that worries me! :shock: :o
viz: USA and President Clown...
1 Replies
388 Views
Last post by Greynomad Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:43 am
Doctor's visit...
by Chuck » Sat Aug 10, 2019 8:04 am
First post
May be an oldie but first time I've seen it...
During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.
He...
Last post
I, too, have played two games in my entire life.
My scores were too embarrassing to share. They resembled a 10-pin bowling score...
Surgery and a...
3 Replies
455 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:06 am
out of luck?
by BruceS » Sat Aug 10, 2019 7:39 pm
First post
How was your day?
worse1.jpg
Last post
*
*
worse2.jpg
And the moral of the story is...
When your getting screwed and there aint nuthin you can do about it...
The grass is always...
3 Replies
311 Views
Last post by Vik351 Sat Aug 10, 2019 8:26 pm
A Windy Tale
by Greynomad » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:05 pm
An old lady was standing at the rail of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so the wind would not tear it off her head.
A gentleman approached...
0 Replies
298 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:05 pm
Another Quiz Question
by Greynomad » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:09 pm
First post
Q: What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
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A: A milky baa kid.
:lol:...
Last post
Time to repeat that Oldie but a Goodie :
Q: When we can't sleep, why do we count sheep, and not dogs, cats, or even giraffes?
A: Because sheep are...
3 Replies
433 Views
Last post by Greynomad Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:27 pm
Psychiatrist
by pet-els » Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:30 pm
First post
What’s in a name ?
A psychiatrist was conducting a Group Therapy Session with five young. mothers and their small children. You all have...
Last post
Good one Peter 👍👍
4 Replies
482 Views
Last post by Shirley Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:13 pm
Today's quiz question
by Greynomad » Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:12 pm
Q: What is grey, has four legs & a trunk?
(It's not what you think... :? )
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A: A mouse going on a...
0 Replies
294 Views
Last post by Greynomad Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:12 pm
0 Replies
249 Views
Last post by Greynomad Wed Jul 24, 2019 8:14 am
getting older .....
by BruceS » Mon Jul 22, 2019 10:09 pm
First post
Three elderly women are talking about their troubles.
“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said Ruth, the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to...
Last post
Underwear Police?!?!?!?!? :shock:
You mean my #*#*#* might be arrested?? :o
Where would they put the handcuffs? :?
And would I have to go to the...
3 Replies
348 Views
Last post by Greynomad Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:55 pm
The Centipede.
by Chuck » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:11 am
A single bloke decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store & told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After...
0 Replies
308 Views
Last post by Chuck Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:11 am
Funny street art
by T1 Terry » Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:15 pm
First post
The latest in the Folau collection, apparently this is on the side of a pub in Sydney. Folau mural.png
Read the number plate and the BSB and...
Last post
This is not posed - just a lucky grab in a Melbourne laneway.
Melbourne Laneway 7-11-14.jpg
5 Replies
622 Views
Last post by SteveW Mon Jul 15, 2019 4:33 pm
How very British ...
by Chuck » Fri Jun 28, 2019 8:36 am
In a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him.
The trouble with you English is that you are...
0 Replies
390 Views
Last post by Chuck Fri Jun 28, 2019 8:36 am
Hawkie's Humour
by Greynomad » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:05 pm
First post
A joke told to a journalist by the late Robert James Lee Hawke:
RJLH: There are two bodies on the road: a dead kangaroo and a dead politician....
Last post
:lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: Nothing has changed in 20 years has it. :roll: :roll:
1 Replies
309 Views
Last post by supersparky Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:10 pm
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
by BruceS » Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:27 pm
First post
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into...
Last post
tanks here---
'FarCanal', you lot amaze me
There is a houseboat near Bruce with that name. :lol:
8 Replies
595 Views
Last post by Dot Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:06 pm
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