"Tarzan not know sex!" He replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said. "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!"
Horrified, she said. "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly!"
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here!" She said. "You must put it in here!"
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right between her legs.
Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed. "What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees!"
...*********************
A young man who felt very guilty when he had to put his elderly father into a nursing home, went to visit him to see if he was adjusting properly.
He was relieved to see how clean and nice the place was, and since his father was in the dining room having lunch he decided to join him. Part way through the meal his father started leaning to one side.
Instantly an attendant appeared and straightened him up.. Several minutes later, he leaned to the other side.
Again, an attendant immediately ran over and helped him get upright in his seat.
The rest of the meal was without incident, and over coffee the son asked the father how he felt about the nursing home.
Well son the place is nice and clean and the service is good, but there's one thing I really can't stand".
"What's that, asked the son?"
"They don't let you fart here"!
*****************
PeterH