Hope for menopausal women

[generdawg]

Pinched from this SITE:

Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God to Man: "So you would love her."
"But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God replies: "So she would love you."

Yes, it takes some intelligence to love us and that not being possible God did the next best thing making it possible by dumbing her down.

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before
creating a masterpiece.

Nice to see roll model recognition.

Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?

Often wondered how diamonds could lick your cheek or keep you warm at night, so the answer is obvious.

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women
complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such
thing as a good man.

Or it proves that women are impossible to please.

Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
GUYnecology
HIMmorrhoids

Again, men as claimed are rough drafts, so this is something perfected by the final product.

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

Only way to stay sane under duress.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

Yeah, have to give you that given that he was rescued!

How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Not surprising where the HOT comes from and who wouldn't lack taste after being scalded. No mystery why they lack dough or who it is for.

Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.

Bavarian Motor Works - works for me.

What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Disagree, they only miss the toilet.

Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Ahh, success.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Here the needing dough from above is evident from woman's insatiable need to spend.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

So it's working - win win.

Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 10,000
miles, whichever came first.

Now we are getting somewhere, but only IF there is a noticeable performance improvement after the tune up.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Good thing too, as you don't want any back chat coming from the marinated pig on the spit.

[T1 Terry]

Is it comfy out in the backyard Brad? Maybe a change of tactics might get you back in the nice warm house

[generdawg]

Is it comfy out in the backyard Brad?

Wouldn't be so bad if the grass wasn't so wet.

[Dot]

I was thinking you should be buying some really well padded knee pads, lots and lots of crawling to do there..

[T1 Terry]

The ground is still rather boggie after all the rain so we sure didn't need any more. Pity they don't make all terrain crutches, it would make it easier to get back on the verandah to start the begging for forgiveness and telling porkies like you didn't really mean it and stuff Never mind, possibly you can drag yourself under the house for a while to deprive her of the pleasure of looking out the window, pointing and laughing like that

[generdawg]

...possibly you can drag yourself under the house ...

On a slab.

[T1 Terry]

Ahh... well, if you've got a slab then no worries, prop yourself against a wall and drink the contents ( for those who have never heard the term, a carton of canned beer is referred to as a slab in some country areas of Vic, probably because it's a shorted word and only has one syllable )

[SteveW]

When I was young and naive I went to a dance and at the end of the night I asked the girl I had been dancing with if I could escort her home. She said "I am on my menstrual cycle." I said, "Well, I am on my Honda so maybe we can ride together."

[Dot]