Pissed Paddy.

[Chuck]

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy.

He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen, tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he grabbed the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his bum. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his bum cheeks were cut and bleeding.

Finding a full box of Band-Aids, he began plastering them all over his bum, wherever he saw blood.

Then, hiding the now almost empty Band-Aid box, he shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Paddy woke up with a mongrel hang-over, searing pain in his bum and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Paddy said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

[Dot]

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