Children In Church

[Dot]

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."


After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother,
"Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
And I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."



A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"




A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people
on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

The Sunday School teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."





A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime
story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach
up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"

[Noggins]

Monday morning George shows up at the deli getting some milk sporting a black eye.
Knowing George is a bit slow I asked him how he got it.

George :---- well I went to church on Sunday and some new people had sat in my seat so I had to sit behind Dotty Smith, you know , the lady with the big bottom.
When we all stood up for the last Hym I noticed her new Sunday dress had tucked up between her bottom.
Knowing how embarrassed she would be when we all greets the Vicar as we file out I pulled it out for her .......................................And she smacked me in the eye for it!

Well I said the usual careful words to George and gave him a piece of raw steak for his black eye.


<>
3 weeks later he comes in with the other eye all swollen and a beaut shiner on its way and asks if I have any more of that steak as the last one got a bit smelly.

OMG George what happened , fall off the bike or something.

Well you remember how I had to sit behind Dotty Smith a few weeks ago
Y e hhh-
Well when we all stood up to sing a Hym I noticed her dress was not tucked in and knowing she how liked it ( cos she hit me for taking it out ) I pushed it back in for her
'N she hit me again and again !!!!!


Ohhhhhh Mannnnn I'll never understand women !



Ron