Frank Feldman

[Chuck]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along exactly when you needed a cab; things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody"

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special."

Cabbie: "Oh hell there's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday and anniversary too. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything. Not like me, I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right"

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them, or take the wrong route. But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make them feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his )#$%^%$ wife!!"