Chinese Torture

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A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.



He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with

a long, grey beard.



"I'm lost," said the man.



"Can you put me up for the night?"



"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so

much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three

worst Chinese tortures known to man."



"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as

well and entered the house.



Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,

beautiful and had a fantastic figure.



She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't

keep her eyes off him during the meal.



Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed

alone.



But during he night, he could bear it no longer and sneaked into her

room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so

the old man wouldn't hear.



Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.



He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a

large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,



" Chinese Torture 1 : Large rock on chest."_



"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old

man can do then I don't have much to worry about."



He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the

boulder out.



As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:



" Chinese Torture 2 : Rock tied to left testicle."



In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting

close to the end.



Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped

out of the window after the boulder.



As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,





" Chinese Torture 3 : Right testicle tied to bedpost." ..................!