Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
User avatar
Dot
Posts: 24726
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
Location: Strathalbyn SA
Been thanked: 37 times

Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Post by Dot »

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets.



Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip.
--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins.



Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.
--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck.



Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.



Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
----------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.



Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.



Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne.



He asked me to stay the night, but I declined.



Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to



drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day.



Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his



cabin for the night. Again I declined.



He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me,



he would sink the ship. I was shocked.
--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today, I saved 1600 lives.

Twice.
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
Top
Noggins
Posts: 801
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:03 am
Location: Mandurah - Greenfields
Has thanked: 12 times
Been thanked: 6 times

Re: Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Post by Noggins »

Well we know it wasn't on an Italian Cruise Liner . :roll: :lol:



Ron
Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power.

Ignorance is Liberating
You're not restricted by facts or knowledge.
You're a Free Person and, as such, able to form your own conclusions.
Top
User avatar
SteveW
Posts: 2343
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Glenelg, South Australia

Re: Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Post by SteveW »

But we know why the Italian Cruise Liner sank!
Steve Williams
http://stevew1945blog.com/

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Oliver Goldsmith. 1728 -1774
Top
User avatar
T1 Terry
Posts: 15979
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:44 pm
Location: Mannum South Australia by the beautiful Murray River
Has thanked: 51 times
Been thanked: 30 times

Re: Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Post by T1 Terry »

Good to hear Helga was only thinking of others, what a charitable sole she has, I wonder if she should get some sort of recognition for such an act of selfless heroism :lol:
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
Top
User avatar
Keith Morris
Posts: 2569
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:09 am
Location: WYALKATCHEM, WA
Has thanked: 51 times
Been thanked: 2 times

Re: Helga's Diary On A Cruise Ship

Post by Keith Morris »


"tanks" here---
I don't see Helga's reply, so I guess she is out looking for a LIFE BOY.
Caution: Look out for the Boy in the Boat.
Keith.


I'm now 87 years old, having experienced another birthday, and I'm still living in WA, single (gave up looking), white hair, no teeth, no money, no worries.
I plan to have another birthday next year.
Top

Return to “Joker's Palace”