Notes left in milk bottles

[Dot]

Dear milkman:



I've just had a baby, please leave another one..

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep
pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons
on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and
I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note.. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints,
but the other way round.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me
because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation
Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of
tea?

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you
deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old
and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the
days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any
milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup
in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want
to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I
wrote this note yesterday.

milkman please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put
newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until
further notice.

[SteveW]

Milkman on his last morning before retirement at the last house of his run. Walked up the steps and the lady at of the house appeared at the door in her nightie and whisked him inside. On the way out the door after having been pleasantly surprised she handed him a dollar.
He said, "The other ladies gave me a cake or bottle of wine or chocolates but this was unexpected. Why the dollar? "
She said, "I asked my husband what to give you. He said 'F*@k him, give him a dollar'."

Sent from my SM-N910G using Tapatalk

[generdawg]

Dear milkman:

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Seems there is a lot of that going round on this forum. lol

loaf of dawg