Definitely NOT politically correct...

[Chuck]

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stout.
Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stout?"
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stout last night and when I came round I was f.....g skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog."


Wife says to husband "you only ever want sex when you're drunk!"
Husband says, “That's not true ... sometimes I want a kebab."



An Aussie and a Yank aid worker are helping out at the Japan nuclear disaster.
Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?"
"No," he replies, "New South Wales."
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same as this f....n' place!?



An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine,
heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Mt Druitt.
The locals are said to be in a state of shock ... they had no idea they had a Job Centre!



A man approaches a young woman in a shop.
He says "I can't find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
The woman says "Sure, but do you have any idea where your wife is?"
"Not a clue," he says, "but whenever I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she appears out of nowhere!"




Japanese government thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out to help with the nuclear disaster.
They said they were delicious!



Sky news report.
The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.
They sent in three ships - two full of sand and one full of cement.
It was a mortar attack.