A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.
He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts.”
He whips down his pants and says ... " Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
You Are My First
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You Are My First
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
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Re: You Are My First
mmmmmmmmmmm wishful thinking liar




Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Re: You Are My First
Now then... if it was toothpicks!!



Chuck & Catriana
aka Geriatric Gypsies.
2018 VW Tiguan.
White.
aka Geriatric Gypsies.
2018 VW Tiguan.
White.
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Re: You Are My First
Chuck wrote:Now then... if it was toothpicks!!![]()

Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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Re: You Are My First
Yeah, I kinda like the thought of the rounded ends on the tongue depressors myself, even if they are a bit short



A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
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Re: You Are My First
Thank goodness you put the word depressors in that sentence 

Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Re: You Are My First
I reckon T1 might get all four splints out of one tongue depressor!

"The mobile phone is the only item
about which men boast of having
the smallest in the group!"



"The mobile phone is the only item
about which men boast of having
the smallest in the group!"
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:44 pm
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Re: You Are My First
Now, now Ray...... Margaret said I should boast because...... no.... that might have been shouldn't lie because I'm not Pinocchio… did he have a big one? I thought was some aussie actor was famous for his natural charm
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
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Re: You Are My First
The 'Sixties satirical mag "Oz" once did a cartoon on Pinocchio... but it wasn't his nose that grew...
Is it that to which you refer, T1?




Is it that to which you refer, T1?

Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields