Seniors

[Dot]

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Mcdonalds.

"My arms have become so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,"
said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an X at election time because my hands are so crippled", volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you", said one elderly lady.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said another, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your blessings," said a woman cheerfully.

"Thank God we can all still drive."

[Greynomad]

When I reached The Big Five Zero, one of my friends asked, "How does it feel to reach 50?"
"Pretty good," says I, "considering the alternative..."

Finally got a chance to use a good line recently!
Introduced to someone's friend in Corowa with the comment "He lives in Rutherglen."
Came the Q: "Have you lived there all your life?"

My riposte: "Not yet!"