She lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my living room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door...
I rushed to open it.
She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk,
and make love all night long... are you busy tonight?"
I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!"
Then she said....
"Good! In that case, could you watch my kids?"
Sometimes it sucks being a senior citizen.
Like the guy with the fancy Rolex watch. Mate asked him where he got it and he told him it was gift from two hot "lets be friends" migrant girls in the flat next to him. His mate looks puzzled and he goes on to explain that he'd help them move in and the eye candy was near unbearable. They asked what they could do to thank him and he replied that he just wanted to watch. They looked at each other and smiled and he thought all his dreams had come true, but a few days later they presented him with a gift wrapped box containing the Rolex 
