How do you tell the difference?

[Dot]

How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?


QUESTION: You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.

Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming "Allahu Akbar" or something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.

You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it.

However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.

What do you do?



ANSWERS:

Australia:



Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.



1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?



2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?



3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?



4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?



5) Am I dressed provocatively?



6) Could I run away?



7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?



8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?



9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?



10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?



11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?



12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?



13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?






Canada:

BANG !



America:

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !



'Click'...Reload...



BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !



Glasgow Police Officer:



"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knife reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"





--

[Lance]

Unfortunatly, that's not a joke Joyce.........

Pretty close to the mark......

[Dot]

Yep thats why its a joke. No one takes it seriously esp the powers that be.

[supersparky]

ya got that right Dot. Political correctness has gone mad.
While on the PC subject, it appears that non-gender specific is also in the throes of making us all look like D-heads again. Can't call things manholes or
anything like that. You would now lose marks in a uni assignment. Where will it all end???

[homeless]

You will be OK as long as you buy a dildo for your grand daughters so they can wear it in their panties so they can feel what it is like to be a man. What dick head woman could think of this ?? though she does run a sex shop.

[bagmaker]

You will be OK as long as you buy a dildo for your grand daughters so they can wear it in their panties so they can feel what it is like to be a man. What dick head woman could think of this ?? though she does run a sex shop.

we might have to re-adjust your medications, Homeless