Bar jokes

[Greynomad]

A jumper lead walks into a bar.
The barman says, “I’ll serve you, just don’t start anything!”

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

[BillieBlue]

I used to be dyslexic once.

[Greynomad]

MORE!!!
A man walks into a bar.
... Should have worn his glasses.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot walk into a bar.
Barman says, "I hope you jokers are here for a drink."


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Two fish bump into a concrete wall.
One of them says, "Dam!"

[Greynomad]

I used to be dyslexic once.

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who sold his soul to Santa?

[Greynomad]

A man walks into a bar with a lump of bitumen under his arm.
“Barman, I’ll have a beer now and one for the road.”

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A mushroom walks into a bar.
Barman says, “We don’t serve your kind here. “
“Why not?” asks the mushroom, “I’m a fun guy.”

(Don’t get it? Read it aloud...)


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An atom walks into a bar.
Barman says, “We don’t serve your kind here. Split!”

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An atom walks into a bar.
“Barman, could I have a beer on credit? I get paid tomorrow.”
“No way!” replies the Barman, “I don’t trust you atoms. You make up everything.”

[T1 Terry]

We don't serve your kind her
Two Higgs Boson walk into a bar

[Greynomad]

A Polar Bear walks into a bar, and says to the barman,
“I’ll have a Scotch and ..................
......................
...................... Dry”
Barman says, “What’s with the big pause?”
Bear replies, “Dunno. I was born with them. “


Ba-boom tish!!

[Greynomad]

A horse walks into a bar.
Barman says, “Why the long face?”

[T1 Terry]

Bloke goes over to chat up 3 rather large lassies at a bar. "Are you girls from England?" he asks noting their broad accent.
"Wales" the 3 girls reply in unison.
"OK then, are you 3 whales from England?"
Three weeks in intensive care gave him time to polish up on his knowledge regarding accents from the British Isles so he didn't make the same mistake again

[Greynomad]

The Invisible Man walks into a bar...
then complains loudly when the barman ignores him.

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The barman says, "What'll you have?"
Then the Time Traveller walks into the bar.