Tom Dick & Harry

[Dot]

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Tom, Dick and Harry were all madly in love with Sweet Suzy, and she loved them all equally.
Eventually, after many years of dating as a foursome, the boys decided that one of them would have to marry this dream girl, and so they popped the question to the lady. " Which of us would you like to marry?"
Poor Sue was perplexed." But I adore all of you boys! I cannot choose!"
The boys then declared their intention of camping on her front lawn until she came to a decision. Finally she did.
With a sigh, she told them, " As you all know, I'm mad keen on playing table tennis. Trouble is, the balls are always getting dented or lost. So, the one who delivers me the most ping-pong balls by noon tomorrow will be my lawful wedded husband."
Away charged Tom, Dick and Harry, all prepared to commit highway robbery, or worse, to win the contest.
Next day at 10am, Tom drove a tip truck outside Sue's house, and tons of ping-pong balls were let loose in her garden. Sue was very impressed!
Ninety minutes dragged by, and lo! Who arrived driving a massive goods train on the railway line outside Sue's house? Yes, it was Dick, smirking from ear to ear as he proudly showed his hijacked goods.
"Looks like I'm the winner!" he trumpeted .
" No, no." said Sue. " we must wait for Harry!"
The minutes crawled by. No sign of Harry. Tom looked crestfallen, but Dick was dancing with glee. . .until, one minute before noon, Harry came staggering up the footpath, splattered in blood and guts, half his scalp ripped off, a busted jaw, broken teeth, a smashed pelvis and two whopping black eyes. In his arms were two huge, hairy coconuts .
Sue cried out in horror. " Oh, my poor darling Harry, what devotion you have demonstrated to win my hand in marriage! But...but where are my ping-pong balls?"
Harry uttered a howl of anguish, and staggered backwards, clutching what little remained of his hair.
" Ping pong balls?!??" he screeched.
" I thought you said, KING KONG'S balls!"

[Shirley]

[Greynomad]

Good one, Shirley!

[Greynomad]

You don’t monkey with the big monkey!