hello sailor

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Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Sailor #5: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #5: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't.......
Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; ducking.
Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that.
Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson.
Sailor #5: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.

[Greynomad]

Reads like a Monty Python script…

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Exactly