Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
Scottish Love Story
by nut17 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:55 pm
First post
SCOTTISH LOVE STORY
An elderly Scotsman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his...
Last post
That's a gooden'. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
4 Replies
383 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:22 am
Missing wife
by pet-els » Mon Aug 13, 2018 11:10 am
First post
My wife is missing!!!!!!!!
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sheriff: Height ?...
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Her name is Beril and she's at the pub. :o :D :D
3 Replies
331 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:54 pm
Lion Tamer.
by Chuck » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:00 am
First post
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his 70’s and the other is a...
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Chuck, I don't know where you get them from, but keep 'em coming. Loved it! :D :D :lol:
4 Replies
469 Views
Last post by supersparky Sun Aug 12, 2018 6:43 pm
Wine Measures
by Greynomad » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:54 am
First post
Wine Measures
2 Sips make 1 Glass
2 Glasses make 1 Litre
2 Litres make 2 Bottles
2 Bottles make 1 Sick
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MONGREL Wayne :) yes there is no point in me even cracking a bottle of anything, no taste at all or if a bit it is certainly different to anything?...
10 Replies
1179 Views
Last post by T1 Terry Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:09 pm
Was it something I said?
by T1 Terry » Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:22 pm
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One day a woman decided to gather up all of her old clothes that she no longer wore and donate them. She got them all bagged up, walked into the...
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Hmmm... a bit close to home.
Before we set out on our 3yr Big Lap we had a ‘little clean-out’ donating lots of stuff to local op-shops.
Going...
3 Replies
323 Views
Last post by Greynomad Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:47 pm
The Snowperson
by Greynomad » Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:29 pm
First post
The story of the snowman:
It had been snowing all night. So at
8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make...
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Geez. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.
It was a joke! 😎
Well become a mulloonnyal...
vik...
6 Replies
423 Views
Last post by Vik351 Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:22 pm
A Brain Teaser
by Greynomad » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:13 pm
First post
Here's one to ponder:
THIS IS AN UNUSUAL PARAGRAPH. I’m curious about just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so...
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It must be a flaw in the way you do sums T1. $85 divided by three equals $28.33 add the one dollar returned + $ 29.33. Times 3 = $87.99 then add the...
9 Replies
469 Views
Last post by T1 Terry Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:38 am
Wot? Where?
by Greynomad » Sun Jul 01, 2018 1:39 am
First post
I went into a camping store the other day to buy some camouflage pants...
But I couldn’t see any.
Ba-boom, tish! 😛
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Ha Ha Ha. :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: have you been out for lunch Ray??? Maybe dinner , now that I have looked at what time you posted this.
1 Replies
250 Views
Last post by supersparky Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:15 pm
Fate
by Greynomad » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:52 am
First post
I was sitting at a Red light, minding my own business, patiently waiting
for it to turn Green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload...
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Good one Ray, we will probably all go to hell for laughing, but it was pretty funny. :roll: :roll: :lol:
2 Replies
257 Views
Last post by supersparky Wed Jun 27, 2018 7:07 pm
A.I.
by Greynomad » Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:16 pm
First post
Two cows are standing in a paddock.
Daisy: “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
Dolly: “I don’t believe you!”
Daisy: “True. No bull!”...
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:lol: :lol: 'S'nice. :lol: :lol:
2 Replies
261 Views
Last post by Chuck Sun Jun 24, 2018 9:47 am
A Wee Scottish Tale:
by Chuck » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:52 am
First post
A Golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn in St Andrew’s golf course.
A Groundskeeper shouts “Dinnae drink tha waater!...
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I reckon you are right Norman. Dougie from Dunedin, a workmate, has a better scotch accent than a Scotsman. :roll:
5 Replies
540 Views
Last post by supersparky Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:01 pm
How do you tell the difference?
by Dot » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:34 pm
First post
How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police...
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You will be OK as long as you buy a dildo for your grand daughters so they can wear it in their panties so they can feel what it is like to be a man....
5 Replies
387 Views
Last post by bagmaker Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:54 pm
Oirish moments... (Mr K's)
by Chuck » Tue Jun 05, 2018 11:10 am
First post
I went to the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.
Inside, I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap....
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Paddy and Mick work in bed together one morning and Paddy turned to Mick and said “this wife swapin thing is not all it’s cracked up to be!” 😳
5 Replies
393 Views
Last post by Mickconnolly Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:14 pm
Dead penguins ...
by Chuck » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:55 am
First post
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
Where do they all go?
Wonder no more!
It is a known fact that the...
Last post
:evil:
2 Replies
259 Views
Last post by Lance Fri Jun 08, 2018 2:56 pm
So true for you Old Blokes ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 9:20 am
First post
An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said:
Take this jar home and bring back a...
Last post
They are both gems. I hadn't heard either of those before. :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll:
3 Replies
281 Views
Last post by supersparky Wed May 30, 2018 2:26 pm
Avocados ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 9:50 am
First post
An oldie... but definitely a goodie.
A wife asks her husband, Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have...
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You did Kay...& it's 3 up from this one.
4 Replies
307 Views
Last post by Chuck Wed May 30, 2018 9:21 am
Short reading from the Bible ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 10:01 am
First post
From Genesis:
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth.
Then he made the earth round and He...
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
2 Replies
281 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Mon May 28, 2018 8:24 pm
Water in the carburetor ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 9:53 am
First post
WIFE: There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
HUSBAND: Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous
WIFE: I tell you the car...
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Yep ,there's water in the carburettor all right :lol: :lol: :lol:
1 Replies
198 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Mon May 28, 2018 8:23 pm
Her first mobile phone ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 9:56 am
First post
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He...
Last post
:lol: :lol: :lol:
2 Replies
243 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Mon May 28, 2018 8:21 pm
He must pay ...
by Chuck » Mon May 28, 2018 9:58 am
Husband and wife had a tiff.
Wife called up her mom and said, We had a fight again, I am coming to live with you.
Mom said, No darling, he must...
0 Replies
170 Views
Last post by Chuck Mon May 28, 2018 9:58 am
My Last Ride
by Dot » Wed May 16, 2018 8:43 pm
First post
While riding my Harley Davidson, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and...
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .Welcome back Dot.
2 Replies
244 Views
Last post by BillieBlue Thu May 17, 2018 6:53 am
Irish golfer...
by Chuck » Mon May 14, 2018 8:58 am
First post
A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods..
Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his...
Last post
Ahhh ... my work is done. :D
4 Replies
320 Views
Last post by Chuck Tue May 15, 2018 8:36 am
The bike ...
by Chuck » Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:05 am
First post
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike?
The second engineer replied,...
Last post
Ahhhh hhh hhh :oops: :D
10 Replies
543 Views
Last post by Chuck Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:59 am
One Stone
by El Gringo » Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:52 pm
First post
A Man With One Testicle
There once was a Man whose given name was Onestone .
So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and...
Last post
So your P.S. was P.C. :( :( :(
vik... :roll: :cry:
1 Replies
238 Views
Last post by Vik351 Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:46 pm
Insurance
by El Gringo » Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:56 pm
A man and his wife moved back home to Cork , from London.
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000.00 a year!
When they...
0 Replies
198 Views
Last post by El Gringo Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:56 pm
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